I Had Excellent Taste for a Ten Year Old

I just had a moment of Web 2.0 serendipity. I was poking around the iTunes store (I know, I know, but sometimes it gives me ideas for stuff to look up on eMusic). Anyway, I was looking at the "Recommended for U" suggestions and I noticed a Leonard Cohen album. I discovered his poetry last year while working at the bookstore, and loved it, so I took a closer look. Browsing the track titles brought on that intense sense of almost-deja vu that means I'm remembering something from childhood, something powerful and important that I had almost forgotten. I listened to the clips. I knew the songs, but I knew them sung by a woman. Jennifer Warnes. I found her on eMusic. She was a backup singer for Cohen and released an album of covers which he co-produced. My mother played this album a lot when I was about ten, until I stole the tape to play for myself.

I downloaded the album and listened to it immediately. God it's good. I hear it through two sets of ears. My now self hears the music and lyrics together and loves the power of the language. At the same time, my ten year old self remembers the sounds and the feelings, while the words made only the vaguest sense. I remember singing along with Famous Blue Raincoat, knowing there was something big and strong inside that song. Now I listen and feel turned inside-out. I see my former lover, and the lover I left to be with him, and the girl he found to replace me. I see myself.

Usually profile-based recommendations are just toys, good for random thoughts and ironic amusements. But every once in a while I see the grand possibility. Some recommendation strikes a spark, begins a tenuous thread that I can follow back to something I absolutely love.

Larry Milas shuns the spotlight...

...like Paris Hilton shuns the spotlight. Which is to say, he talks about himself every time he can get within 10 feet of a microphone.

This post has absolutely no meaning to anyone outside the 500 or so people intimately connected to Olin College, but I wrote it anyway because the incident is a microcosm of humanity at its obsequious, arrogant, TACKY best.

Give a college a lot of money and they'll name buildings after you, write dreamy missives ignoring all your faults, and manage to forget that you spent the commencement address talking about how great you are, then presented yourself with a present taking credit for the whole graduation! Here's the best part: they'll do it even if you're giving them SOMEONE ELSE'S MONEY.

Not So Much With The Wuv

Always make friends with your building manager. They can be your best friend, or your worst enemy. Luckily, mine is the former. So when I asked him who was Douglas and what did he think about the card left under my door, he quickly informed me that Douglas does not live in the building and has been known to leave such cards for random residents every few months. The "yick" factor is reduced because he wasn't specifically targeting me, but still...Uncomfortable and sad.

Fascinating Medical Facts

Did you know you have oil glands on the edges of your eyelids? Well you do. They secrete oil that keeps your tears from evaporating too quickly. Without the oil, your eyes get dry and irritated, and more prone to infection.

Did you know that Oakland grime can clog your eyelid glands? This is why I am now sitting on the couch pressing a hot, washcloth-wrapped hard-boiled egg to my eyes. I just love the city.

Wots of Wuv

I woke up this morning to find a purple envelope slipped under my apartment door. It was addressed to Guess Who?? I know very few people in my apartment complex, and no one well enough to be exchanging cards. Intriguing. I tore it open and found a giant Tweety Bird holding a bouquet of flowers and telling me that right now someone was thinking of me with...Wots of Wuv! The card was signed by Douglas. Apparently, he would like to get to know me better. He thinks I have a great personality. He included his phone number. I have NO IDEA who this person is. Errr...

So, I have as secret admirer. That's sweet. He likes Tweety Bird. That's...something. I guess I'm flattered. But Wots of Wuv?? As an introductory note?

Of course, I have to call him.

So this is YOUR fault!

Confession: I am a Warren Ellis fan-girl. I love his writing. I am intrigued and amused by the ways in which he sees the world, the things he knows and the places he goes. I read his site at work even though he has warned repeatedly that is it NSFW! (warnings punctuated by images of squirrel erections and insect-covered genitalia) because he makes me laugh, and cringe, and remember that my life is not as over as it feels when I sit in my cubicle. So I visited Warren-land today, and I found this little gem:

It’s Independence Day, yes, when we here in Great Britain celebrate our Great Project — creating an entire country for comedy purposes in the guise of ceding America its independence. Thank you for giving us literally hundreds of years of laughter.

I’m sorry? You doubt me?

That’s right, sit the fuck back down. Cheers, Yanqui.

Count yourself lucky your women are attractive to us.

(Every single year I do something like this, and every single year I get masses of hate mail. Which is in itself funny as all hell.)

www.warrenellis.com

I'm sure this just eats away at those of my fellow citizens who have bought into the American myth and think our country is sacred, something to be revered. Just fine-they deserve a good tweaking. But I couldn't help thinking: YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE?? You want to claim responsibility for this continent-sized mess? Joke's on you, pal.

In truth, the post made me angry. Not because I object to mocking the US of A, but because I don't think my country is very funny. Arrogant, hypocritical, pathologically violent, self-righteous, ignorant, xenophobic...not funny. Just scary.

I feel obliged to cover my ass by stating that I mean America as a governmental entity and global force. I don't condemn Americans because that would be meaningless and stupid. I am an American, most everyone I love and cherish in the world is American, this is my home. But as a government, as a nation, this place just fucking appalls me.

I firmly believe that when things are really bad is when we laugh the hardest, and laughing at the bogeyman makes him less powerful. Up to a point. But I also think that things can be too dark for jokes, and I guess that's about where I am with America. Writing us off as an orchestrated comedy act seems like a dangerous act of denial.

Which doesn't mean Warren shouldn't make fun of the USA. It just means that when it comes to my country, I've lost my sense of humor. How depressing.

Time to go eat some BBQ.

Happy Blog Birth Day!

And so my blog is born. Do I get presents? I should.